I actually sort of feel lonely right now

My life right now is just one big tangled ball of indecision.

I just want to know what it is that I keep searching for

I keep relentlessly and even effortlessly prooving to myself I am unemotional. I am, and forever will be, a castle wall

If I mention you in my blog, you're important in some aspect

Last night was fucking weird

The only way I am capable of emotion is if I drink some liquor but not too much, just enough, and then become so vulnerable I spill my liquid sequentially to those who I guess seem thirsty

"I was swimming. More like floating" "they always come home at the wrong time"

things I need to do this summer:

-start my garden.

-read Catcher in the Rye

-read my psychology text book again.

-take more pictures and/or video.

-work out.

The only person I ever felt comfortable around sexually was you.

Replace my face with an inanimate object bc it has basically the same feeling as me anyway.

at first I hated floating, now I want nothing else.

life is too damn short for me to sit around and not have fun. life is too damn short for me to miss out on the good weather, chance to learn new things, and hangout with new people. summer is approaching; I must sieze any and all opportunity  I must turn my face towards the sunlight, let it penetrate my being. I must put down my phone and enjoy the company I have. Life is so beautiful, I don't want to miss it for a single second.

SOMETHING LIKE THIS BUT NOT THIS

What you need from me you've got inside you

Fond
But
Not
in
Love

I'm so bad at being friends with girls lol

"I can't go back cause I know how it feels to open and breathe"

I want to love but I don't know how.

I hate myself more than you could ever love me

I cannot escape facial hair and heavy guitar. I just can't.

the funny thing about poetry is that it's all about word segmenting

the funny thing
about
poetry is
that it's all
about word
segmenting.


the funny thing
about words
are that when they
are segmented into
short types of lines,
it almost sounds like a poem.

the funny thing about words are that when they are segmented into short types of lines, it almost sounds like a poem.

you,
us,
and we,
are just words to fill the placement
of unknown body shapes, face structures, and scents.
they mean absolutely
nothing.
they are essentially
bottomless and faceless and even more importantly,
meaningless.

Simultaneously sitting, never saying a word, never touching, just breathing, no sound just the steady up and down of our breathing and yet my ears and eyes are filled with the static that comes from the electricity between us and it fills me up to a degree I can't quite determine and I feel as if I will pop open at any second, burst all my fluid onto to the floor and finally, finally, we'd swim

I keep having sex dreams what the hell is happening to me

nothing
ever
takes hold
of
my
heart
strings.
I am forever
f l o a t i n g

I miss when I was young and would watch sex and the city or the sopranos in the dark late at night in my room and I would see a naked person like maybe some slight boobage or something close to a dick but not really a dick and I would get seriously turned on just from that. I miss that blatant naivete very much.

Weekends feel sucessful when spent drunk. That's kind of sad

You filled holes in me I didn't even know I had.

Shit you're cute

I had an almonst full detailed dream about a woman. oh my gosh do I want it now.

What if I made ever shower at college a shower beer shower. Oh my god yes!!!

I once went downtown to sake bomb with some friends I hadn't hungout with in a while. I drank some rum before I got there and continued to get drunk until I was too drunk for life. Literally. We went back to my friends apartment, drank more, and then went to a bar. They left me in the apartment by accident I guess and I was too drunk to find the bar even tho it was only right down the street. I proceeded to get lost in philly. I found some kid who I didn't know and I forget his name and he helped me find a cap and then stayed with me during the whole cab ride home. I have no idea who he was or why he did that to me but he did. I spent $30 on a cab home and felt endlessly shameful after it was over

I got a question for ya...are you a faggot or are you a faggot?

someone to purposely get lost with just so time becomes irrelevant