I'm sick of anxiety floating into the room and never leaving telling me I don't know how to just be and telling me not to relax, always on edge, where do I go? I'm so sick of trying to find a place to feel comfortable within my internal and external environments. I don't want to try anymore think anymore do anymore I just want it to happen. I feel like there's nothing to show for all the amount of worrying and preparing I do for all the things i've ever done. I'm tired of fighting, I just want to relax....

what the fuck does it actually feel like???

It's like instead of living in a world where the other person exists, you are living with that other person in the world.

together you create your own energizing definition; a merciless definition of what life means to the both of you, together, and things are added up and subtracted to create a whirlwind of experiences, dreams, passions, and discomforts.

I just feel like something is missing. It always creeps up at night

I fear I will never find a mind connection and will have to settle with a body connection

I tried drowning out the voice in my head that kept telling me to kiss you but the more alcohol I drank the louder it got

I just realized I will never be like my mother.
I just realized I am NOT MY MOTHER.
shit.