somehow life feels fucking amazing right now!!!!

as i grow my skin gets tougher i stop fitting in to the molds of society they stop feeling so permanent and all being i stop trying to be someone im not i stop trying to feel things i don't i just live my life with the intention of feeling good and giving back to the world. i think about how getting high makes life a perfect match of person and every single things comes down to timing and the gravitational pull of the axis of the air of the universe asking for its energy back. and i don't even want to think that much about it i just want to recognize the color of your shirt and let my skin tingle in the familiar way it does and as i've learned to do so. would less be more? is more less? if this all i can ever hope of becoming? I can offer so many sides of myself, it's all I know how to do or be; selfless, a service for others. you can talk and talk and i'll store and store and the fact is that your stories are limbless, they are speachless, they are gasping for air. and those stories you have, way down there in the depth, they choke you like a rotten egg you eat whole. and all you need from these rotten eggs are breaths of fresh air, something to show you sunlight, the way it could and can be. the opposite of the bottom. your teeth rattle, like you haven't worn you retainer since 7th grade and you're going to the dentist a week from friday. life happens before you prepare. life happens after you prepare. you juggle so many things, you motivate yourself by money, you go to the wrong class, YOU FIND SOMEONE WHO LIKES YOU FOR YOU, and those people that forget themselves are common but the same people who forget their worth are scared and lonely.

EVERYBODY WE MEET, SIGNIFICANT OR INSIGNIFICANT, BECOMES A PART OF US.

things I want for my birthday/need for my birthday/need in general/want other people to buy for me

lunch box/bag
all seasons of Anger Management
thumb ring
black flip flops
garmin fit watch.

I don't want to think about it. I don't want to understand it. I just want to be in it. I want to feel it, live it, and breathe it. I want to be guided by it, with in, for it. I want to drown in it, believe in it,lose myself in it.

I want to fall in love.  never forget, never remember, forever dreaming, forever feeling, never letting go. never let me go.

how do you tell someone you have a crush on them and have for a long time, but havent talked to them in like years?

how do you tell someone you think about them everyday and want to know everything about them but you don't know how they feel about you?

the less you try, the more interested I become. idk,

I am so afraid I have nothing to offer this world.

Dear god, I am so afraid.