I recently went to an AA meeting here on campus and it was nice to. Go to meetings again. If I let myself the world can be whatever attitude I chose to have. And while things are not ideal in many crucial areas, this is too good of a gift to pass up and be negatve during. I sat in that room and wanted to literally and figuratively lay on my back with my arms wide open and expose myself completely to these strangers. I feel that way quite often these days because I really get to look at my life from a holistic point of view and I get thankful and loving. And I realize that oppurtunity is everywhere in great abundance and that insecurity is the voice of darkness that wants to consume the light. But it shuts off without attention and without stimulation. So many times, and so easily, lfe beats me down but it isn't the times of repetative and mundane fear that will fill me with memories, but it is the lughtlessness, the understanding, and the pure acceptance that yes! I am fucking doing this! I am doing this in the best way possible and I'm doing this right and for myself. And there is a great satisfaction in this realization that breeds comfort and unity with myself and my peers. And atleast for now, atleast for some little while, and at the smallet, atleast for today and within the nature of this very second I am not alone, an enigma, or uncomfortable. But I fall nicely into place along the same path as others without dissalusion which is exciting and refreshing in so many ways it is even hard to explain. But it feels so good to be hingeless. My wings are as wide as the ocean and I am ready to drink the water of life that surrounds me. Because for too long I have been consuming this terrible belief that is a dirty enemy and not a friend. And for today the sun is shining and I am ready with a smile.