at the bottom of everything.
can't you just shut
the
fuck
up?

I get in these moods where I can't stand even being
existing
there are worms in my fucking skin
I want to kick them out of me
I cannot think of one good thing about being here right now
my lower back hurts and no sounds is every smoothing enough
Lately the only thing that sounds appealing
is the smell of something lemony
or something

fuck what is this feeling
there is a subtle layer of unsettled desire
in the middle of my blood and my skin
I don't know how to feel better about something
I can't control

I lay in the middle of the ocean.
I fall asleep and
I drown.