what the fuck does it actually feel like???

It's like instead of living in a world where the other person exists, you are living with that other person in the world.

together you create your own energizing definition; a merciless definition of what life means to the both of you, together, and things are added up and subtracted to create a whirlwind of experiences, dreams, passions, and discomforts.

I just feel like something is missing. It always creeps up at night

I fear I will never find a mind connection and will have to settle with a body connection

I tried drowning out the voice in my head that kept telling me to kiss you but the more alcohol I drank the louder it got

I just realized I will never be like my mother.
I just realized I am NOT MY MOTHER.
shit.

you know when you leave toothpaste out without the cap on and it gets really hard at the top and you have to squeeze the tube really hard before the hardness finally gives and it kinds of makes a "pop" with all the fresh, non-hard tooth paste? well I feel like that creatively. I feel like there is this potential somewhere within me because I can feel myself wanting it and edging close to it, but there is a bunch of hardened toothpaste in my way waiting for me to just pop right on through.

yeah.