distortion

i need to get over this. i need to get over this. i need to get over this. i need to get over this. i need to get over this. i need to accept this. i need to accept this. i need to accept this. i need to accept this. i need to accept this.


okay.
now the monster is awake.
it won't rest until there's nothing left.
maybe ever & anon
i forget about the pain.
someone bending light comes along
& flowers lean towards the sun.
some people fall in love & touch the sky
some people fall in love & find quicksand.
i hover somewhere in between I swear
i can't make up my mind.

circles. wagons. clowns. thecolorred. tricycles turn to bicycles. round and round we go. one step is all it takes. merry go round and round and round. existential carousel. carousels. haulden caulfield. spelled wrong. monsters. sunlight. moonlight. waves. indecisiveness. stomach aches. achy, achy, achy. surface diving. contradictions. pale skin. no body. no bodies. nobody. floods. hurtful floods. rooftops collapse on houses that turn to stone. black taints the brown. mixes with the green. gone. enog.

now what?
where to?
for once, it's me. i need to focus on me. the one thing i've been afraid of this whole time.

the one thing
that is
my
downfall.

there's a place in the mind that doesn't feel but it talks real loudy. tells you how it's making you react but doesn't let you feel the full affect. thank god. thank you. that little friend in your brain. the part that speaks in a language you'll never be able to understand. the part of you that makes you you because it's the only part that won't.



slowlyslowlyslowly everything begins to disintegrate.

i feel so lopsided.