the dilemna:


if I hooked up with boy number 1 I would start to feel like it was a dumb idea because he lacks the intelligence I like. just like, something is sort of missing there. but we have a lot in common and he is cute.

if I hooked up with boy number 2 I would start to feel bad because I am pretty positive he is into me more than I am into him and I'm not trying to hurt anyone.  he is also cute though and has a good personality, great smile, etc.

too many things start just by attraction. I don't like it. I don't like sexual inclination/want/desire until it actually occurs within a certain spectrum of some other kind of emotion.

guess I will have to play this superly by ear, but have to be careful not to hurt anyone while also remaining open to the idea that anything can happen and the people you least expect it can actually be the one to dive right down with you.

A typical case of me overthinking all courses of small actions I can, may, and will take.