i'm so sick of myself. i'm sick of insecurities. i'm sick of my flaws. i'm sick of the way i go about things. i'm sick of my fears. i'm sick of feeling like i can't do anything right. i'm sick of second guesses. i'm tired of getting beaten down by life. i'm tired of getting beaten down by myself. why doesn't good consistency ever fucking stay around? why is everything so hard to achieve and why is retention so hard to keep? i need help. i need a way out. i need to get out of this place. i need escape. i desperately need escape. i feel like i'm all alone in this. i feel like i'm the only one that's lost and can't be found. i feel like i'll never fucking be found. the only person that can save you is yourself. but what if youdon't know how to do that? i'm so scared. i don't know what to do. asdhksh. nobody understands. everything comes sweeping back to me. the darkness always takes over everything. it's a fucking monster and i just want it to go away. i dont understand this