millons of popping bubbles.

tents boys boobs darkness light illumination fear school you love time people beauty night judgments myself others walls lines appreciation sadness happiness apprehension comfort

filtration.
doing more than surface diving, this time around.

fest. amazing, wonderful, powerful, magical time. i wish everyone in the world could experience what it's like. people are real there. in their true, natural form. we get our feet dirty. and the best part is that we do it together. doesn't matter what your hair looks like, how fucked your eyes are, you are making awesome friends. meeting new people. so much love. so much fucking comfort. it's so hard to explain in words, but i miss it already. instant happiness. i could kiss the grass i love it so much.

being single is weird. but i love it. the concept of being alone is equivalent to ultimate freedom. no rules. no judgments. no age limits. there's a whole world for me to experience. i've finally realized there is no point in getting down over something i can't control. i'd hate to say it, but it's not worth my time anyways.

darkness is a weird place to be. i'm in between night and day, as i like to say. but no matter what i think the darkness always stays. like addiction, sort of. or love, if you will it. i feel like it's so easy to fall backwards into it again. it's so easy to say goodbye to the world you try so hard to feel and just feel yourself kind of floating, with one food off the ground. it's a scary place. it's scary because you feel lost in it. i don't know. (when i say you i mean me, i suppose. but you makes it easier to talk about it because i'm overly modest). but yeah. yeah. it's scary because you want to escape and you want to move so far far away from it but for some reason, at certain points and in certain areas, it always ALWAYS creeps back in. and after awhile, it's a good thing. but after an even bigger while, you're just fucking sick of it because there's another side to it. totally. i guess you just gotta take it step by step until you're feet are glued, instead of planted. if they ever get to that point.

it's kind of sad the way things have gone down. i know you don't appreciate me the way that i appreciate you. and at first it made me sad and angry. well, it still kind of makes me angry. but i am just starting to kind of feel bad for you. people are so easily consumed. but the people who are worthy of your love (and not even deep love, just friendly love) are the people that don't know wtf theyd do without you. like, truly. i don't think you realize how much i need you. and if you don't realize it, i'm not sure i want to keep myself here. there's no point in sticking around a place that doesn't make you feel as wanted as you want to feel. things just turn stale and that's where the gnats come on. and i've been there before, it's totally not a fun place. please wake up. we need each other and if you fail to recognize it, you're going to be missing a whole hell of a lot.

you. the other you. you're the floor leader. you opened the door to this place and you didn't even realize you did it. you opened my eyes to a huge dark hole and for quite awhile you closed my eyes to everything else. i fell for it. i fell for it big time. but i've been making my way out of here. slowly, but that's how it's supposed to be done. totally. it's absolutely, 100% time to leave this place.

essential growth periods.

acceptance is the only way to get by. anything that is troublesome can just fall away once you accept that it's there. and that it is what it is. because no matter what, it's still going to be what it is whether you want it to be or not.

everybody loves me. everybody wants to date me. everybody wants to kiss me. i don't know why. and i'm not cocky. but it is so fucking true. the world is a wonder.

it's funny what a little burning of paper walls can do for ya.
but next, i need a hammer.