agh.
i feel so stuck in my mindddd. i feel so unsure about everything i'm about to face. i need to muster up the motivation to do this. i need to succeed. i want to expand. protect. do my job. it's so hard to suppress fears and weakness though. so. hard.

i dont know. it's 4/20, ahahah. so much fun being high around a shitload of other people who are high. makes everything feel so united. it was a chill day. but it doesn't make anything dissappear or weaken. i dont even know what it does. it doesnt even matter.

i miss you so much. i miss our home. our games. our talks. i miss your eyes and your hair and your ears. and the outline of your silhouette that i know so perfectly. and the sleepovers. and baking. and dinners. and eeeeverything. this is so hard. i've never missed someone like this before. i've never felt this way before.

i'm really suprised i am how i am. which is good. really good, i've grown a lot. the life experiences i went through over the passed few years are shining through. i have been learning so much about life and myself. but i'd still do anything for you. i still love you.

i need an outlet.