i just want to clarify things.

for one, this blog is for me. i compeltely over react and say things i don't mean but that's only becuase i'd rather say it with words to a screen then words to a face. this is how i filter my thoughts. i never talked directly to anyone, and i'm not going to unless i truley have something to say. in which case, i already have.

so with that being said, here's the thing.
aparently "everyone" has read this blog. and as you can probably tell i've been going through a hard time.

losing regional board does not make me less of a person or make me look at bbyo any differently. i understand completely what i said a few posts below, but do you really think i meant that? if i really thought bbgs were blind do you think i would try so hard to be involved with them? no. i didn't mean what i said. i was angry. i love bbyo. i love every single bbg that i've come to meet. theyre all so beautiful. i'm upset that i didn't win beccause i thought everyone would be able to see my dedication. but maybe not. and again, i'm not going to just sit here and dwell on it. it's happened. it's over. i appoligize for being rude and for saying things i don't mean. but this is MY blog and it's for ME to vent. i hope, whoever is reading this, will be able to understand that i'm still a kind hearted person, i was just angry with the situation at hand.

and secondly, the other situation that "everyone" ALSO knows about. people need to stop writing some dumb shit on my formspring. it's ridiculous. i have a right to be selfish. i have a right to be upset. sad. angry. and i am. noone has the right to tell me how i am supposed to be feeling or how i am acting. i'm pretty sure nobody knows the length of the situation. but. anyways. YES i am jealous. OF COURSE i'm jealous. wouldn't you be? if you wouldn't be jealous then you have no idea what you're doing. and no, i'm not being selfish. if i was being selfish i'd try to get in both of their faces and do something about it. but we are both separate people and things happen. i hate the situation and i'ts going to take a long time to get over it, but i'm keeping to myself. i'm trying hard to move on to better things. and so far, it's been working. i've been feeling better. so anyone who is gonna sit here and fall me selfish and whatever bad words ya gotta say, you're wrong. i'm being realistic with the situation. i'm not going to just take it in stride. i'm pretty sure you wouldn't either. so come on now, stop bitching at me and just leave me a lone. it's not your fucking business anyways.

k. that's all. people need to hop off my case. my life isn't everyone's business and you need to all focus on yourselves, and not the situations in my life. and maybe one day some people will realize that everything is just a million little phases put together to make what we have come to call a life. and this is just one phase of many. and it ends. and others will begin. but for god sake, just leave the fuck alone. i'm only human. i deal with things the way i want to and i the way that i do. i'm sorry if you don't like it but if you don't, then that's your problem. I'm just trying to get by and move on.