I feel weird. I feel so in between stages of everything and it's resulting in feeling so completely blank. I like to kiss you and want to kiss you when I see and want to see your name appear under new text messages. But I wouldn't say I like you because I barely know you. When I am around you I don't know how to act because I'm horrible at affection and I barely know you. I want to learn so much about you because there is so much about you to learn. And I like that you get happy when you see me and you smile that cute little smile. I Can tell you're a genuine guy and it excites me to know and feel confident in that. Stuff like this freaks me out though. I am horrible with putting my feelings on the table. It takes me months for feelings to even begin because comfort is the base of those things, and we aren't exactly there yet. This is exciting though because I get so nervous everytime I know I will be seeing you. The fact that I am giving myself, slowly, to someone is invigorating. It has been two years since I have done that and it's so weird to think about doing it now. I am still afraid of getting hurt though but I know I can't let that hold me back. Sometimes though I want to just retract and hide from it because it's more comfortable there. I have comfortable blankets and here I am bare-skinned. but I know this is good for me and will be good for me. I need this experience and this opportunity and I need to seize and cherish it for what it is. It is still very new but it is exciting and fresh and that's what I need. Freshness. Everything was stale for so long, it's nice to see some other colors in the mix now. Let's see where this takes us.