the whole time all I needed was to stop thinking and start feeling. objectifying things is good until they turn so incredibly solid that you can't even absorb them. It was kind of like I had a layer of plastic skin around my real skin. Nothing could get inside, nothing could seep out of me. I was just so focused on the suffocation that I was only suffocating myself even more. I can finally breathe now. My pores opened, I bathed myself in hot water and melted my plastic skin. I am a human being saying hello to the world.