these are the most boring of days. i'm not gonna leave this place, just cover it up with millions of white little flowers so you're shoes can't feel it anymore. without sound. feelings on paper don't make poem. don't make sense either.minus one. plus one. same difference, really. nonsense all the time. don't make ant sense. anger as a driving force because it's more easily felt but less easily wanted. love. back around but still going in circles. different ones but the same ones. it's all the same. right now, atleast. jesus, i have no idea what else this is going to take. seeds just disperse every which way and trees grow too far away from each other to share their shade. i feel so dull and lifeless but i feel okay. i feel good. just not right now. i dont know myself. you don't either. we're all the same. i dont know how i'm supposed to brace myself for this. maybe i shouldn't even try. my name is madi. hungry eyes. always hungry. hungry, always. everyday things change. but basically things stay the same. forget about the reason. forget about the emotion. raragagaga. soon we will all be gone. need for thirst always comes from the need for hunger.

bed of clocks
silence of sleep
loudness of everything else
awakeeeeee, wake
bullshit
operation
stimulation
speculation
invigoration
gone
one
unknown
lamp posts in shoes
blahblahblahblahblah
bullshitmotherfuckerdamn
oppositebackwardsupsidedown
flooooooooooooooooooooood

what ya see is what ya get

if you can just, listen.

we're all the same. we're all the same. we're all the same.we're all the same. we're all the same.we're all the same. we're all the same. we're all the same. we're not the same. we're all the same.we're all the same .we're all the same. we're all the same. where'd everybody go. we're all the same. we're all the same. we're all the same. where'd my mind go. we're all the same. we're all the same. you're all the same. we're all the same. we're all the same. we're all the same. hello, goodbye, nothing at all. we're all the same. we're all the same. we're all the same. where's all the water evaporating to?

i almost forgot, i almost missed it

love is the most incredible, remarkable, wholesome, warm feeling in the wholeeeee world and i am sososoo lucky to be with the most amazing person ever :].

i love my baby.
9/28/09 <3

looking back, this will just seem like an aunt hill next to a steep, steep slope

some people just know exactly how to draw your attention to them.
it's so reassuring.

february 6th 2010

one of the coolest, most fulfilling things i have ever done.
6 (7) kids, 9 hours, 6 feet tall.
the arboretum.