i desperately need to get the fuck away.

closing in my on myself, closing in on you. i'm right every time and it's all getting old. i'm still tired of this. tred has worn away. i exaggerate everything. it's just a ticking bomb. this is all just the action of a fucking boomerang. fuck it

adorationdesperationexplorationinspirationrelationstimulation
creationdeterminationidentificationjubilationexplorationconfusion
progressionregressioneducation.

time collapses withinwithoutaround you. it fades away. nothing seems to matter. nothing is significant. nothing stimulates. eyes droop to the floor, staring so long they burn deep holes in the dry soil. what is this place? a nest of comfortably woven webs that at first glace would seem like theyd feel uncomfortable, but really just steal your gaze from the light and love to see you trip and shrivel. no matter how slightly. terrible inbalances of distribution pulse through the creation of everything known and as distribution turns to stone, everything blurs again, like it always seemed to do. umbrellas don't catch the rain fall, snow boots do nothing but compress. but that's not what is ultimately wanted. this is just a test. plates spin through space. what one thinks he knows turns into an educated guess based on knowledge that has been forgotten. if that makes it just a guess, then that's the way it goes. and oh, it goes how it goes. clocks tock and tick and water drips from the phone lines. people blend. in a vague sense where only specks and molecules of certain colors can make their way through the filters. so many filters. so many insignificant filters. don't ask why, just go. gogogogogogogo. this is no different.

tiredofthisage
tiredofstressforsats
tiredofuncomfort
tiredofknowingit'snotgoingtolast
tiredofhavingtotrysohard
tiredofnonbelieving
tiredofittakingsolong
tiredoffighting
tiredofnotfitting
tiredofsleep
tiredofresponsiblity
tiredofbeingbroke
tiredofsecondguesses
tired

never thought it was this possible to be as in love as i am. but it's so much more than i've ever imagined or experienced it to be, before. the parallels of the universe feel like they are in the exact spot they are supposed to be when we are together. the world is right and we can sleep and wake with no detriment to our souls. i wish the circumstances would fade.

i had such a great weekend.
partied, beau, won beau/sweetheart (which i wanted SOSOSOSO bad), slept wiff my baby, dadddypops, skittles vodka, sushi :).

these past few weekends have been so good.
feels nice to feel nice

TODAY SUCKS

bad grade on poly sci.
annoying as fuck people who just don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves.
getting yelled at.
car being weird.
no job offerings
GETTING FUCKING SHIT STUCK IN MY HAIR THAT WON'T WASH OUT WITH SHAMPOO.
i dont know what to do. petroleum jelly is a biiiitch, wtf.
this better come out or im going to be SO mad.

fuck.