everything is better when everything is simpleeee.

love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort. love is not all comfort.

need to start over. everything is fixable.

everything and everyone still feels miles and miles away. i don't feel like i'm making any ground in the areas i need to be gaining land from. i don't feel like i'm getting anywhere. i still feel like i'm constantly just stagnant. i want to move.

the funny thing is

i am just like my mother.

i want to kiss you.
i want you to want to kiss me.
you might.
i want you to kiss me.

everybody makes so many excuses. myself included.

i don't mind the quiet. in fact, i kind of like it

i want to know

is friendship something that needs/should be thought about?

why do i feeeeel so lonelyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

i want a boy with a white tee shirt and a brown belt and mockosins who will cook with me while we listen to music we both like. and who will go shopping with me for paitnings for our home. and who will cuddle with me for hours just because we can. and who will not get mad when i consistantly fall asleep watching movies or laying around. someone who will go to the park with me. someone who will smoke weed with me and who i can be comfortable with. someone who understands. someone with facial hair. someone who makes me motivated and want to do new things. someone who will travel with me. and cry with me. and write with me. and sing off key in the car with me when the windows are down. and swim with me. and leave everything we know just to be together. someone who aches so badly because they love me so much that they can't bare. someone who wants to rip themselves open and consume me. and vise versa. i want someone who will make me happy.

but all of this is actually extremely irrelevant.

if she really loved you she would do anything she could to run back into your arms.
nobody knows what love really means
i supopse i don't have much of a say. but i'd like to think i do. and i don't really care what others ssay because i was always the one willing to commit longer than anyone else, it seems, in the course of history so far. but someday i'll find you. i'll find you.

is anyone even happy?

come
come on in
enter into the dwellings.
there is sunlight here.
sunlight!

drop your keys
free yourself from the intangible
tonight we shall wander
among the stars.

please don't stop.
the ghosts run through us
the masks disappear
together, melting away
floating to high altitudes
never wanting to come down

for an instant the world stops
but, in a good way
things make sense and the trains begin to run
in the same direction.

purpose flows through my being
if not for me
then definitely for you.
all for you, forever
wrapped tightly in white.
consuming my wake.

the sun has risen
the sun is shining
the warmth erupts in rapture.
colors are everywhere
and suddenly i know-

a blanket over thy soul.

everythingiwritefuckingsucks

i am as empty as an ocean.

the darkness now lives in daylight.
sewing together the threads of every
morning's wake
and every night's somber

intangibility is felt through
the stable currents of instability
draping itself heavily
over the doorways they all effortlessly walk through.

i want to go home
i want to go home
i want to go home

mud feels like clay and rain feels like hail
a days worth of vegetation is never
harvested by the initiator.

i fell asleep at the incline.

ghosts
they leave their cages and travel through the wind pipes.
the search for water is highly needed
but the drought has finally hit its climax.
water is nowhere.

i lose sleep at the incline.

clocks move backwards
time falls short
smile lines fade
and fade and fade and fade

another time
another place
another chance
another me

someday.

i can't wait for the day that someone let's me embrace them completely while the world keeps spinning spinning spinning around us. there are always such long periods between things. most day's it's okay but sometimes, like right now, the empty spaces feel really large and hallow.

i think i am such a good lover.
i want someone who wants it as much as i want it.
i want it to stay.

absolutely nothing in this entire world of worlds
in the sunlight
in the darkness
in everything i've come to know so far
CAN MAKE ME HAPPY.

wash out the tired notion that the best is yet to come.

gettin' there, gettin' there