i'm entirely way too horny for life lol. i just want to embrace someoneeeee, hold them tight

do they not give it or am i just not taking it?
idontknowwhatmyrealityis

see, now it's annoying. because i dont know myself as much anymore because i try not to think about it too much. if i do it's going to bring my down. now everything feels fucking shallow and i can't put anything into words that actually do me or "it" justice. i don't know. i'm not the same as you. we. are. not. the. same.

something feels like it's misssing

kitty sleep final decision nomoreloneliness solification

blaaahhh deffered from towson. lame

iwant

a boy who will cook dinner with me
a group of friends i can bake cookies for whos feet are nailed to the same floor as mine.
a true direction in my life
moneymoneymoney
all of this loneliness to fade away
faith
to lose weight
comfort
intelligence
to feel like i'm getting somewhere
to move
clarity
confidence
to meet people who do something with their lives instead of waste it
to feel like i'm not wasting my life
to find a purpose
to find the road
true escape

i feel alone in the universe. it won't go away

i am turning into my mother and i feel like there is nothing i can do about it

im never gonna get it right.
people are always going to feel miles and miles away.

i don't know if it's my fault or theres.
WHAT THE FUCK

millions of thoughts and feelings and aspects of self and places to go and things to want and opportunities to sieze and people who are foreign and books to read and things to say and feelings to express and miles to cover.

i want to sing and sing and sing and find the correct way to filter these thoughts of mine.




i am purple

everything is so boring and gray (in a calm way, though) and bland when darkness never see's daylight and The Return seems miles and miles away. i suppose it's a good thing. i mean, it is a good thing. but now i feel as if I'm left empty, stripped of my being and at the bottom of it all still lies the most fucking daunting aspect of everything.



insecurities haunt.

i have absolutely no idea what the fuck i am doing.

it's like no matter how steady things get or how okay things feel, loneliness is always an existing factor.

i just want some people who make me feel.

SO MANY STUPID USELESS FEARS THAT ARE SO HARD TO GET RID OFFFFFFF