offf to ILTC i goo.

i have so much to say but not a really good way of wording it.
tomorrow is gonna be fun. i'll tell you later

i dont know
life is weird and people are funny.
wish i had better words to describe anything that isn't grey
but oh well
that might be good

i think i have too much faith in human nature, lol.

need for thirst comes from need for hungerrrr

becoming one with myself, becoming one with the world.

YOULL NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER BE ME.
and that's all i need =]

park park park park
in the dark dark dark dark


today is a new day. yep.

toyingwiththepossiblethought

ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp
ithinkineedhelp

for the first time in my whole life, i feel 100% like i am alone.
this is absolutely terrible.

whydoialwaysfeelliketherearesomanybarriers?

this is how people lose their mind. literally. no.

needs and wants and the empty space

release. hammock. books. tangled feet. hollow empty space that is missing your essence. anger. bitterness. JEALOUSY. redefinition. nature. purity. transitions. doors. goodbyes. tears. hellos. sadness. melancholy. depth. darkness. insecurities.distance. disconnect. poetry. structure. stability. solid circles. weed. stature. tired of it all. pushing. doors. open. close. guess and check. closed eyes. open mind. steps. denial. acceptance. shoes. the right place. goals. knowledge. constellations. adventure. eyes. faces. hands. galapagos. misunderstood. fish. connections. pain. change.

everything

falling

in some kind

of

lopsided direction

until it

f

i

z

z

l

e

s

out and

away.

everything is ajoke

youarealllBLIND.
someone
please tell me,

where is the sense!

i miss feeling angry.
everything was easier

where is the line drawn between a phase and an actual problem?
ithinkineedhelp

i don't understand myself. i can feel so great but never truly believe a word i say when it's not standing on a grey scale.

why do i continue to stand here in stagnation?
am i just being impatient? am i over analyzing this?
am i, in some sick twisted sort of way, actually where i want to be but refuse to believe it?
am i doomed to forever suffocate in the boxes that pessimism creates for such people?

if nobody knows
then how do we leave?

completely involuntary, how does one see passed it?


rebirth, mother fucker
hop up in my space ship and leave earth, mother fucker
i'm gone, mother fucker, i'm gone.

everything fades eventually.

everything fades eventually.

i miss you so fucking much, just please come home.

what do i do so wrong that always makes me revert back to the same fucking uncomfortable, unsettling feeling in the bottom of my stomach?

IS IT EVER GOING TO FUCKING END?!

i'm not sure if there is a worse feeling than to have your eyes glued to a boy who has the same familiar curves and smell you will always remember and as you hold on to the gaze you once knew, you watch it fade farther and farther away from you. this is annoying as fuck. i wish i could just fade away.

i don't enjoy feeling the i'm slowly the only one who is putting effort into this.






siht kcuf

how are we supposed to know if we who we are
is really who we're meant to be?
how am i supposed to know if what i'm doing
is going to lead my in the direction i want to be in?
how am i supposed to know which direction is best
when i don't know myself?
how am i supposed to do things, without there ever being a "supposed to" concept.

i'm way too hard on myself.
but what else would there be, otherwise?
agh

i miss you so much.
nothing has faded.
sometimes it consumes and is
so hard.

everything in the current is so minimalistic. i've never been in this position before.
i'm not assertive but part of me doesn't seem to mind much. i really confuse myself.

*
roll the windows down
this cool night air is curious
let the whole world look in
who cares who sees anything
*