it's crazy because i had seen it coming. and during the coming i had seen it leave, as well. isn't that such a funny phenomenon? when you see something come and see something leave? and then years ages weeks days months, all out of order. they pass and you forget and you remember and you lose the feeling in your limbs and in your throat and you don't want to scream anymore. not like that. you don't want anything to do with anything. blank pages lose their whiteness. everything fades until it blends and restores. and then things restore. and brighten. the sun. yellow. here it comes. words are spoken louder but there is no screaming. not like that. everything to do with everything. people never notice anything. it's really a funny thing when they have no idea. it's not hard to see once you open your eyes a bit. it's really easy. it really is. thick tred on my shoes. hey, i have fucking shoes. wondering how you've missed this place without even being there. missing something you've never had. it's a blessing. callouses on thy feet. yeah, they're there. on hearts and fingertips and eyelids but they're being softened. it's all being softened. you're being softened. but i'm being hardened. i am hardened. and then, a smile appears. it's the opposite of what you're thinking. it really is. reciprocated actions. strawberries. grass. new faces. a field. a dress. that look. a whole lotta looks. a new voice. many voices. together. everyone. it's such a wondering fucking feeling. it's not spring. no, it's summer. the essence.