-sing.
-buy a hammock.
-read all of the 21 books that i need to read.-buy a hammock.
-finish the scrap book.
-make a better year box.
-make a better bbyo box.
-run.
-run away.
-no.
-become closer.
-feel it.
-FIND it.
-play in the mud.
-play in a lake. with the girl who has a ladder.
-stop being afraid.
-stop pushing.
-stop making excuses.
-stop caring so much.
-start smiling.
-start walking upright.
-start feeling.
-learn.
-feel.
-interact.
-don't wear so much makeup.
-wear my hair curly.
-lay in the grass.
-swim.
-spend the night.
-release.
-get closer with angie.
-touch you.
-stop pushing away something that could form again (ron)
-remember that pronouns are useless.
-TRUST TRUST TRUST TRUST.
-train. yes.
-just fucking stop it allllllllllllllllllllllllllljsd khaskdhasd.
i hate the way i'm always scared. for every aspect whether it be school, getting into college, keeping friendships, being able to keep my house, being able to keep my family, being able to keep money, keep my confidence, make frineds, talk to people about things i feel passionate about, moving. i hate this. i feel pathetic. i am more than this and i am more than i let myself be. i am more than these walls.
i hate the way you all cave into eachother. i hate the way you all just have such a fucking thirst for dependancy. man up, why don't you. you are completely fine. you have always been completely fine. i love the way, even though you cave, the way your curves are. you wouldn't approve of me saying that but i do. i want to experience everything i've experienced all over again.
i dont care if you don't understand. i don't care if you have questions. i don't care if you don't want to come with me. i don't care if want to look at me weird. i don't care if you think i'm stupid. i don't fucking care. i need to do something to release the rest of everything. i feel it. it's right below the surface. i love that i can feel it. running doesn't help, i need something better. i have shoes. now i'm gonna find the road and i'm gonna do it all by my fucking self. thank you.
1 comment:
you're not more than you let yourself be. you're exactly what you let yourself be. if you want to be something different, you have the power to let it happen. but you're exactly what you let yourself be.
i really wish i didn't feel as if you've posted the same thing on here every month or two for the past year, worded a little differently. it makes me sad.
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