okay.
I'll be honest here.

This has nothing to do with loneliness induced by Minus the Bear.
It has little to do with the seasons changing.
This has everything to do with the fact that I saw Curt again and the whole time felt that he was better than me. And you know why? Because once again, I was on the outside of it all. He was in his comfort zone with his three good friends and then there was me. On the outside. Again. For the millionth time. And I felt like he had it all together. He has his friends and his job and he's content with where he is, no matter how much he sucks at relationships or whatever. And he knows how to joke around. And then there's me. I feel like the complete opposite. I feel like I am constantly on a search for something I will never find. I am lonely as ever these past two days because I realized that someone I put myself in front of is really in front of me. I know that sounds wrong but it's true and it happened.

And how do you think that makes me feel, huh?
How do you think that makes me feel.