Thursday, January 31, 2013

Yeah

My problemn is I don't know how to effectively have a balance between positive and negative.

Also I need to have more constructing and eye opening conversations.

I have a lot to learn. I can't allow myself to become hindered by my emotions and feelings of insecurities that tell me to stop this, or be afraid of that. Insecurities are like addiction, or an eating disorder. Or maybe that is the root of it.

I have been happy lately bc I kind of know how to deal with the absense of negative thought. But I'm not sure I know how to sucessfully live a comfortable ad stable life inside the two, simultaneously.

In large part, I do believe that self reliance could solve a lot of these problems. I guess I keep thiking I am a long way away from that, but the reality is that in a very short time I will be out of college, and societally expected to do many things on my own. This both excites me and scares me. But mostly it just scares me. Instead of taking this fear and living inside oof it, I MUST, if I want to do anything, get anywhere, and be happy, use it as motivation to grow as a person, learn life skills, and gain truthful self reliance.

Knowledge and interpersonal skills are absolutely everything in this world.

Life has too many distractions. There are many things I want to learn and do bc I feel like they will help me figure out what to become. But it is so hard to actually sit down and devote the needed time to actually do that. This is another problem.

Unfortunately, when I let myself critically think, I often start to believe that my problems serverely outweigh my successes. AND THIS IS A PROBLEM. This is when thhe negative thinking begins again and everything is a cyclee.

So, what is needed here is the proper time and attention to learn the things I want to learn and apply them to my life. I have to do this if I want to live. I must strive for better or else I will remain stagnant, and that is no fun. And I must love myself (and can only do so within the journey) before I can love what's around me or let anyone else love me.

Everything is double sided, I just have to be willing to look in the right places.

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