The worst part of this all is that nobody can help me but myself yet I don't know how to help myself. Nobody can tell me what to be or think or do or feel, only me.

If I had passion I wouldn't be so lonely. If I had goals and aspirations I wouldn't be so alone. I need something to reach for, something to create and house myself within.

I don't want to find another person for that. I want to create a life for myself doing the things I love. but what are those things? I don't get how I cannot tell you what I love. I don't understand this.

How do I find this passion? This existential reasoning?
I am afraid that without it I will just disintegrate into thin air