i'm breaking. nothing comes at the right time. there is no time. i was just feeling happy. i was just feel comfortable in my skin. now theres more to deal with. more to supress. more to feel. more more more. i dont know how to deal with this anymore. i can't do this. i dont want to talk to anyone. i dont want to feel. i dont want to live. i dont care about you. i dont care about eating. i don't care about anything. im lying. if i didnt care i wouldn't be feeling this. typing this. what the fuck. i have so many walls. i'm losing what it takes to have enough faith in someone to put them down. theres always a point where everythng stops.

i was fucking happy.
i thought i was strong enough to keep it.

i'm tired of this life. i'm tired of this skin. i want out. i feel incredibly low. this is the first time in my whole life i have never been able to get out of a mood or to hide it. it's scaring me. i'm scaring myself. i need help. i need something. i need to stop. i'm afraid. i dont know. i dont know. i'm sorry. i hate you. i can't do this. fuck. i'm falling apart. im sorry.