why do I feel like you won't let me care about you? I want to care about someone. I Want to care about you. I don't want to focus on me anymore. I miss leaving notes underneath someones pillow. I miss smiling for no reason other than the energy shared between me and the other person is so comfortable, warm, and natural, that all I want to do is smile and smile and smile. I want to feel small and large again all the same time. most of all I want to feel red, like an apple, the apple of your eye. of someones eyes. (you is slightly less bottomless and meaningless but it is still there. ideas>the actual, right now. you get me?) I don't want this to fizzle away and float like wood on water to a far away place that we'll never see again. we haven't even ignited anything and the flame is dying before it's lit. it was never meant to be lit at all. if I say something drastic, will it scare you? do you care enough for it to scare you?